Content Notes: Set during S1. Angst.
The cot in the storage room isn't particularly comfortable, but Martin sleeps well in it anyway. Well, when he sleeps; he often has trouble dozing off, his mind and body both still alert for the worms, for Jane Prentiss knocking on his door. Tonight is another night of trouble, so Martin does what he always does then: he rolls onto his stomach, presses his face tight into the pillow, and breathes in its scents.
Jon's scent.
It's probably pitiful, how much comfort he takes in a man who barely has any regard for him. It had been gracious of Jon to bring Martin here, into a space that used to be his own alone, and while Martin feels like he could burst from gratitude, it also makes him feel so worthless. It's his fault that everyone at the Archives need to be careful now; it's his fault that Jon now has to sleep in his office instead of his cot when he spends long nights at the Institute. The cot might not be very comfortable, but Martin doesn't deserve even the little comfort it offers.
Shuddering, Martin inhales deeply again. Jon's scent enters his nose, burrows deep inside him, and even though he still loathes himself, he feels calm now.
Martin will make this up for Jon. He might not be what Jon wants, but he will be everything that Jon needs, make sure Jon won't be left wanting in anything. Martin turns his head to the side, resting his face against the pillow, and as he closes his eyes he imagines it's Jon's cheek against his own, soft and warm.
He will be worth something.